Four Loko Orange Blend

So I did a lot of writing, editing and made several grandiose claims thanks largely in part to Four Loko Orange Blend. If tonight were a Sesame Street episode it would be brought to you by the letter drunk.

I’ve tasted the watermelon-flavored Four Loko and it tasted almost completely, but not entirely unlike pink battery acid. The Four Loko orange blend, however, tastes a little more like a reputable street cleaner worth spending your money on.

It’s a little lighter with not so much of the bite as its pink harlot of a sister counterpart. It actually tastes a lot like Sunkist with some vodka or 151 mixed in it. Which is great if you’re into that kind of internal S&M liver-destroying thing.

But seriously, the overall taste was more than tolerable and the effect of the 12 percent alcohol content on my writing ability was more than negligible on the positive side. In case you’re as drunk as me that means it made me a more suave and debonair writer for at least an hour or two.

I do however have one gripe…2.99? Are you serious?! This stuff should be no more than $1.99. Granted one or two cans will get you housed but it isn’t like a pill that’s had $300 million spent on marketing on it. I don’t know. Maybe if it were a Friday night and I had a few of these in me I might think differently. But It’s not and I don’t. So $2.99 is too much for this flavor of Four Loko. You’d probably be better off buying a 1.75 of Popov Vodka for $6.99 vodka and 3 liters of warm orange soda from the Quickee Mart for $.99. Basically the same thing.