By now you all know that I’ll drink pretty much anything in the name of alcohol research. Joose, Jungle Joose, Steel Reserve and my personal I-was-too-drunk-to-give-a-crap-favorite, The Poor Man’s Black And Tan. I’ve sampled all of the aforementioned beverages because of my passion for finding and drinking beer and malt liquor with high-as-giraffe-balls alcohol content.
Up until now the champion in the high ABV race has been Jungle Joose with 9.9% ABV. I had heard of another beer called Four Loco, which is touted as supposedly having an alcohol content of 11%. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find it so it has remained unconfirmed. However, this past Saturday my cousin who works for Anheuser-Busch informed me they were going to start distributing my white whale in a few weeks right here in North Florida. I was giddy.
By last night I was thinking about everything BUT finding the Four Loco when my wife sent me on another one of her prego-craving runs to the BP station down the road. This particular BP has a Dairy Queen in it, so I placed my order and decided to roam around the store to see if anything caught my eye.
I did my usual scan of the coolers not expecting to see anything of any consequence when I came upon a 240z can I had never seen before. It read: Max Vibe – 12% ALC/VOL. I heard angels sing.
I quickly picked up the can and studied it. According to the label it sports all the same ingredients of Joose and Jungle Joose. Ceffeine, Ginseng, Taurine and artificial colors. I was fixed on the label when the craggly voice of the woman making my wife’s Heath Bar Blizzard broke my gaze. She stood there holding it upside down with a spoon in it to show me how thick it was. “Blizzerds ready,” she said. I grabbed the Blizzard, paid for my new treasure and headed home.
It was late, and I didn’t want to drink the Max Vibe in case having Caffeine listed as the first ingredient meant there was a shit-load of it in this 24oz can. So I waited until tonight. I figured I would write the review while I drank it.
I decided to do a little research on Max Vibe and the Max beverage Co. On the back of the can there was a web address: www.drinkmax.com. Unfortunately there was no site. Just one of those sites that says “this domain has been parked.” That should have been a red flag. Then I Googled every combination for Max Vibe and its brewer I could. Not one single article or image came up.
The only thing I DID find was a document form the state of Ohio’s liquor approval board stating that Max Vibe had been approved for sale under in May, 2009. The approval was given to the United Brands Co. The same company that owns/distributes Joose?
Anyway. Enough of the investigative reporting crap. I came to get bent. You can research the Max Vibe / Joose conspiray on your own. On with the review.
Now because the pure existence of this beverage is so sketchy and I couldn’t find a photo of it, you’ll have to be satisfied with my description and pics from my iPhone.
The can has a very modern feel to it. If Max Vibe and Jungle Joose were cars, Jungle joose would be an orange ’63 Impala with hand-laid pinstripes and max Vibe would be a 2010 Scion. Any model Scion. You get the idea.
The real difference between Jungle Joose and Max Vibe is in the can. Not on it. Where Jungle Joose looks like green radiator fluid and pretty much tastes like it, Max Vibe is hot pink. Yes. Hot pink. And it pretty much tastes like a wine cooler or Boone’s Farm’s Strawberry Fields on steroids. I could actually see girls mixing this with vodka or Bacardi Limon at night clubs across the country. It might be pretty good.
As I write this I’m almost done with the whole can and I have to say I feel pretty good. I’m buzzed and wide-ass awake. The taste is so tolerable that I would probably drink another one if I had it.
If you can find this stuff, drink it. The first few sips are a little harsh, but after that it’s on like Donkey Kong. I think this will do especially well with the female crowd since it’s pink and tastes all fruity. Hmm. I wonder if that’s who they’re targeting? Discuss amongst yourselves.