The Drunk Pirate

Earthquake High Gravity Lager – The Liger Of Lagers

Steel Reserve – 67 percent of the time, it works every time. However, at 12% ABV, Earthquake High Gravity Lager will get you “tore out the frame” 100 percent of the time.

Earlier tonight I made my way to the BP station – not to buy gas mind you (Fuck BP) -  to buy my go-to 4 pack of Steel Reserve tall boys when I made a startling discovery. On the shelf below all the gaudy Four Loko cans, nestled right NEXT to the Steel Reserve was a line of silver and black cans with “Earthquake” emblazoned in red on them.

I didn’t pay them much mind at first. I actually picked up a flavor of Four Loko that I hadn’t tried yet and was studying it when I noticed out of my peripheral that the Earthquake can shared the same 12% ABV rating as the foul-tasting Four Loko I had in my hand.

Could it be? A lager with the kick of a malt liquor? It was like I had found an actual Liger, but instead of being bred for its skills in magic, this one had been bred for its skills in getting me totally shitfaced while NOT tasting like an orange Airborne tablet dissolved in kerosene.

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Popularity: 4% [?]

Sam Adams Winter Lager

I’ve never felt strongly either way about Sam Adams beer. I’ve always viewed their normal fare as so so and not worth the $7.89 price it commands for a sixer. However, I have become a fan of their seasonal beers. Actually I’ve become a fan of seasonal beers in general, but Sam Adams definitely caught my eye with their Winter Lager.
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Popularity: 8% [?]

Poor Man’s Black And Tan II

Some of the greatest food and beverage discoveries were born out of either necessity or just good old fashioned curiosity. I mean seriously, who was the first guy to eat an oyster? Was it out of necessity to avoid starvation that he decided to eat the giant snot-like creature he found living in a rock he found growing in the mud of a coastal saltwater marsh, or was it a decision born of blatant human curiosity to see if he could eat the same stuff the otters were eating?
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Popularity: 12% [?]

Is Joose Targeting Girls With Max Vibe?

By now you all know that I’ll drink pretty much anything in the name of alcohol research. Joose, Jungle Joose, Steel Reserve and my personal I-was-too-drunk-to-give-a-crap-favorite, The Poor Man’s Black And Tan. I’ve sampled all of the aforementioned beverages because of my passion for finding and drinking beer and malt liquor with high-as-giraffe-balls alcohol content.

Up until now the champion in the high ABV race has been Jungle Joose with 9.9% ABV. I had heard of another beer called Four Loco, which is touted as supposedly having an alcohol content of 11%. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find it so it has remained unconfirmed. However, this past Saturday my cousin who works for Anheuser-Busch informed me they were going to start distributing my white whale in a few weeks right here in North Florida. I was giddy.
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Popularity: 21% [?]

Blowing Rock Ale

Recently I spent a week in the Blue-Ridge mountains, free from the bondage of cell phones, Internet and other equally useless crap. I spent my time kicking back in a log cabin with the family, hitting trails during the day and the hot tub at night. And you know what? We decided to pay a little something back to the local community by picking up a couple six packs of Blowing Rock High Country Ale brewed by Boone Brewing Company, LLC.
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Popularity: 7% [?]