The Drunk Pirate

Is Joose Targeting Girls With Max Vibe?

By now you all know that I’ll drink pretty much anything in the name of alcohol research. Joose, Jungle Joose, Steel Reserve and my personal I-was-too-drunk-to-give-a-crap-favorite, The Poor Man’s Black And Tan. I’ve sampled all of the aforementioned beverages because of my passion for finding and drinking beer and malt liquor with high-as-giraffe-balls alcohol content.

Up until now the champion in the high ABV race has been Jungle Joose with 9.9% ABV. I had heard of another beer called Four Loco, which is touted as supposedly having an alcohol content of 11%. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find it so it has remained unconfirmed. However, this past Saturday my cousin who works for Anheuser-Busch informed me they were going to start distributing my white whale in a few weeks right here in North Florida. I was giddy.
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Popularity: 21% [?]

Raspberry Flavored Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

One of the reasons there’s been a lack of posts for the past few months – other than the site redesign – is because I’ve been doing research. A lot of it. One thing that’s kept me busier, and drunker for that matter, than a New Orleans judge during Mardi Gras is the new line of Firefly Vodka flavors that were recently introduced.

I’m pretty sure that this is a first for the alcohol industry. An infused, infused vodka. I don’t even know the proper way to write that. Is it infused-infused vodka?

although I usually leave the flavored vodkas to the sorority girls, my instincts told me I needed to try the new Firefly flavors in the name of The South, journalism and science.
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Popularity: 22% [?]

Platinum 7x Vodka: Don’t Be A Grey Goose Guido

Lets start this review by dispelling a few myths about vodka. First of all, any of you who are vodka drinkers or have been reading The Drunk Pirate on a regular basis know that good vodka doesn’t have to be expensive and just because a vodka is expensive doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good.

Take Grey Goose for example:

On more than one occasion I’ve witnessed so called “ballers” throw down $150 for a bottle of Grey Goose at a club because they equate expensive with being a good vodka. I mean it does claim the be “The Worlds Best Tasting Vodka”  right on the label.

Truth is Grey Goose consistently places near the bottom of every blind taste test it is entered into. Funny thing is it’s usually brands like $16-dollar-a-bottle Smirnoff that win.

But don’t tell that to the Guido’s in Jersey who eagerly flash Grey Goose and cheesy Zoolander poses around in order to draw attention away from their horrible hair and spray-on tans.

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Popularity: 16% [?]

Blowing Rock Ale

Recently I spent a week in the Blue-Ridge mountains, free from the bondage of cell phones, Internet and other equally useless crap. I spent my time kicking back in a log cabin with the family, hitting trails during the day and the hot tub at night. And you know what? We decided to pay a little something back to the local community by picking up a couple six packs of Blowing Rock High Country Ale brewed by Boone Brewing Company, LLC.
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Popularity: 7% [?]

Burger King Fire-Grilled Ribs

I honestly don’t know where to start with Burger King’s new Fire-Grilled Ribs. Yes I know this is a drinking blog, but these ribs are just the kind of thing that would prey on drunkards at 2 in the morning. I have to watch out for you guys.

My run in with these bastard children of the bbq world began the other night when my wife sent me on a pregnant craving run to BK. Yes, this was the same night their Slushie machine was busted and I ended up going to the gas station next door and finding Jungle Joose.

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Popularity: 12% [?]