{"id":567,"date":"2008-11-19T00:00:13","date_gmt":"2008-11-19T05:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/?p=567"},"modified":"2020-09-02T11:36:42","modified_gmt":"2020-09-02T15:36:42","slug":"official-beer-pong-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/official-beer-pong-rules\/","title":{"rendered":"Official Beer Pong Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Beer<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Let me start by stating the obvious. There’s no such thing as “official” beer pong rules, and if you think otherwise, I will belittle you in a future post.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only rules in beer pong are house rules. This means whoever owns the house where said beer pong game is played calls the shots. But because some people suck at making house rules, I’m going to make a few suggestions of my own to get you started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Official Beer Pong Rules<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ping Pong Balls<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Be a champ and go with the orange three-star ping pong balls. Sure they cost a little more, but if everyone’s going to be drinking natty piss all night, at least give your beer pong warriors some dignity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Table<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

For the love of God please have a decent size table. If gorilla armed Gary can slam dunk the ping pong ball in my middle cup we are going to have problems. When in doubt, go longer than shorter (that’s what she said). It will help keep the leaning Larrys of the world at bay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cups<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nothing but a regular sized Dixie cup (or Solo) will cut it. And do not, I repeat, do not forget the water cups. While I doubt that dunking a ping pong ball into a cup of dirty water actually does anything, I don’t think I could imagine a game of beer pong without one at my side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Location<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I’ve been to parties where everyone is inside and the beer pong table is sitting outisde on a porch. Let me make one thing clear. Beer pong is not to be shunned and left on a porch for the wallflowers of the world to lean all over it. It is to be cherished, placed as the centerpiece and heart of any large college gathering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Blowing\/ Fingering<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One of the most controversial topics in all of beer pong. Let me clear it up for you. Unless you are a FEMALE I better not catch you fingering or blowing on my balls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bouncing<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Although the bouncing rule is a pretty widely accepted rule for both sexes, I’ve encountered house rules where males were discriminated against. But I’m here to tell you that bouncing is acceptable no matter what your gender. And I’ll tell you why. Unlike fingering or blowing, which gives an added advantage to the person engaging in the fingering\/blowing without measured improvement to the game, bouncing is merely a device used to keep players focused on the game. Nobody wants to play beer pong with the guys who are more focused on the girl in the white shorts playing guitar hero than sinking beautifully arched beer pong shots. Bouncing, punishes the unfocused by making for a slightly easier shot that results in a two cup loss for the victim. In much the same way an electric dog fence will keep a dog at home, a well timed bounce shot will bring a lost beer pong player back to the game at hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Redemption<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Rule: Upon one party successfully clearing the opposing party’s cups, the opposing party has the right to continue shooting until said party misses. If opposing party successfully clears these cups, effectively completing redemption, both parties proceed into sudden death.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for me. Redemption should be included in everyone’s house rules. This rule has single-handedly created the most beer pong heroes of our time. It earned me my nickname Nathan “Clutch” Thompson, and I am forever in debt to such an honorable rule.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let me start by stating the obvious. There’s no such thing as “official” beer pong rules, and if you think otherwise, I will belittle you in a future post. The only rules in beer pong are house rules. This means whoever owns the house where said beer pong game is played calls the shots. But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1554,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/3042980250_3cbfe6f40b.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/3042980250_3cbfe6f40b.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Nathan","author_link":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/author\/nathan\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=567"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1554"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thedrunkpirate.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}