Drinking at a bar is probably one of my favorite past times ever. Seriously. There’s nothing like rolling up to you favorite watering hole at 1 o’clock on some random Tuesday and proceeding to get hammered. Everything is going great. There’s a baseball game on, the bartender is the good one (who also happens to be the cute one) who actually knows how to pour a real Black and Tan and not a soul in the world knows where to find you. To top it all off, you’ve got your Blackberry with you so you can answer emails. To the outside world it looks as if you’re in the office and it’s business as usual. In the words of the great lyricist, Ice Cube, today is a good day.
Then about 15 minutes into the perfect Tuesday afternoon it happens. You raise your glass to take a pull from your second pint of the session and “THHLOPP.” The napkin or coaster that was stuck to the bottom becomes gravity’s latest victim. Whether it lands on the bar or in your lap it turns everything in a 2 foot radius into a certified wetland. Even if it doesn’t get everything wet it’s still pretty goddamned annoying to have it happen every time you take a drink.
Calm down. Breathe. We can fix this.
Remember the old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?” Well it’s true. The solution to this problem that has plagued bar goers since the invention of the bar can be cured by the simplest remedy. Salt. Yes, plain old salt.
As soon as the bar tender slaps that napkin or coaster down put a dash or two of salt on it. Don’t go crazy with the salt. This is the equivalent of giving your 1-year-old crackers at Applebee’s. Somebody’s gotta clean that shit up. Trust me, I’ve been a bartender and worked at Applebee’s and making the bar top look like a beautiful sand beach will ensure your Jack and Coke is mostly Coke.
Salt is basically a rock. Actually it IS a rock. When you put it on a napkin or coaster is acts as a buffer between the coaster or napkin and the bottom of your glass while allowing the napkin or coaster to continue soaking up the condensation that trickles down the outside of your glass. When you lift the glass some of the salt will stick to your glass and some will stick to the napkin or coaster. But trust me, the napkin or coaster will never stick to the bottom of your glass.
So now you can sit back, relax and enjoy your Tuesday.