Shit-faced drunk for less than $3. That’s probably the easiest way to sum up the genius of Steel Reserve. I can imagine the birth of this wonderful high-gravity lager right now.
“Hey, boss?… What is it Johnson? Boss, I have a great idea for a new beer…Ok, Johnson, I’m listening. Let’s make a lager and let it ferment for 28 days until it has an alcohol content so high only the most seasoned drinkers can handle it.” The boss ponders this, slams his fist on the desk and bellows, “Goddammit Johnson! That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day! I’m making you Vice President of Cool.
I’m just guessing that’s how it went down. I have no clue how the beer got its name. What I do know is drinking a beer with an alcohol content of 8.1% is not for amateurs. As seasoned as I am, I can still only imbibe 4-5 of the 16oz cans of this stuff in one night before I wake up feeling like I went through a session of chemotherapy the next morning.
The aroma, as well as the taste, is very pungent. They both take some getting used to. A good way to get around the strong taste is to drink it extremely cold in an extremely cold mug. If you can do this, you’ll be on the receiving end of one of the fastest and cheapest drunks money can buy. However, much like its cousin, napalm, you have to be very careful when drinking Steel Reserve. It comes with a set of rules. Just like a Mogwai. Don’t buy any more than you know you can handle, don’t drink all that you buy, and buy an equal amount of Gatorade to drink before you go to bed. The normal thing for hardcore Steel Reserve drinkers to do when they get drunk is to drink until they pass out. Steel Reserve will fuck up your entire weekend if you try to pull that crap on some random Friday night. Drink an entire 12 pack of this stuff and you’ll wake up on the liver transplant waiting list.
Steel Reserve is definitely a double-edged sword. Plan ahead and be careful and it will serve you well. Abuse it, and it will chop your head off and flush it down a toilet.
You can find Steel Reserve at any store. $1.35 will get you a 24 oz can, or you can pony up $2.69 for a four-pack of 16oz tallboys. Stay away from the 12 packs. Trust me. The temptation to drink the whole thing is too great for a person in the depths of a Steel Reserve binge to resist. Oh, and 222 calories per 12 oz serving is probably another good reason to limit your intake.