There are two types of people in this world; Those who pee in the shower and think straight moonshine tastes like shit, and dirty fucking liars.
I can honestly say I’ve had enough moonshine in my life to consider myself a bit of an authority. But saying I’ve drunk so much white lightning because I like the taste is like saying I like buying girls drinks because I have extra money in my pocket. I drink shine because there is no other alcohol on earth that can get you drunker, faster with very little effort.
But again, I don’t like the taste. I DO however absofuckinglutely adore Sweet Apple Pie moonshine. And I have a recipe for Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine I’ve concocted that can be made in your kitchen with little more than a big pot and a measuring cup. And it’s phenomenal.
Before we get to the recipe, let’s get one thing out in the open. It is absolutely ILLEGAL for ANYONE to make, transport or consume moonshine in the United States. Period. I don’t give a crap what your uncle Eustice or Pappy or cousin Shelby-Joe (who once fucked a guy who claimed to be an FBI agent in a truck stop bathroom) says. You can’t legally make or possess any amount of moonshine.
So how are we going to make LEGAL moonshine? We’re going to improvise. You see, moonshine is around 180 to 190 proof, or about 85% – 95% pure alcohol. The closest legal thing you can get is Everclear which is sold in both 151 proof and 190 proof. In other words, you can buy legal alcohol that is the exact same thing as illegal moonshine. And tastes just as horrible in its pure state.
The only thing that makes one moonshine better than the other is what you cut it with. Lemons, cherries, peaches or in our case a mixture of apple cider, apple juice and two kinds of sugar.
The Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine Recipe
Here’s what you need to make 12 Mason jars (16oz) worth of Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine.
- (2) liters of Everclear (190 proof) or grain alcohol
- (1) pint of Captain Morgan 100 proof spiced rum (optional)
- (1) gallon of apple cider (I prefer the kind with lots of pulp)
- (1) gallon of apple juice
- (1.5) cups of sugar
- (1.5) cups of brown sugar
- (12) cinnamon sticks
- (12) 16 oz Mason jars
Take the apple juice and apple cider and put it in a big pot and bring it to a boil. Once boiling, stir in the sugars until it’s dissolved. Remove it from the heat and let it cool to room temperature. Once cooled add in both bottles of grain alcohol. Captain Morgan is optional but I think it adds a nice little spice to the mix. Pour the mix into the jars and add 1-2 cinnamon sticks to each one.
You can drink this stuff right off the bat and it is great heated up like hot cider. But the optimal waiting period is two weeks to give the cinnamon time to seep in.
Heed these words…this stuff is dangerous. It’s super easy to drink and will creep right up on you in a hurry and put you under the table. I’ve made a few batches and it’s a great gift for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It’s been great drinking this stuff with my Whiskey Wedge, too. Check out the Whiskey Wedge review.