The Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine Backstory
There are two types of people in this world. Those who pee in the shower and think straight moonshine tastes like sh*t, and dirty f**king liars.
I can honestly say, without hesitation, I’ve had enough moonshine in my life to consider myself a bit of an authority. But saying I’ve drunk as much white lightning as I have because I like the taste is like saying I like buying girls drinks because I have extra money burning a hole in my pocket. I drink ‘shine because there is no other alcohol on earth that can get you drunker, faster, and with so very little effort.
But again, I don’t like the taste. At all. I do, however, absof*ckinglutely adore sweet apple pie moonshine. And I have a recipe for Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine I’ve concocted that can be made in your kitchen with little more than a big pot and a measuring cup. And it’s nothing short of delicious.
Before we get to the Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine recipe, let’s get one thing out in the open. It is absolutely ILLEGAL for ANYONE to make, transport, or consume moonshine in the United States. Period. I don’t give a crap what your Uncle Eustice or Pappy or cousin Shelby-Joe (who once f*cked a guy who claimed to be an FBI agent in a truck stop bathroom) says. You can’t legally make, possess, or consume any amount of moonshine.
So how are we going to make LEGAL moonshine? We’re going to improvise. You see, moonshine is around 180 to 190 proof or about 85% – 95% pure alcohol. The closest legal thing you can get is Everclear which is sold in both 151 proof and 190 proof. In other words, you can buy legal alcohol that is the exact same thing as illegal moonshine. And it tastes just as horrible in its pure state.
The only thing that makes one moonshine better than the other is what you cut it with. Lemons, cherries, peaches, blueberries or in our case, a mixture of apple cider, apple juice, and two kinds of sugar.
The Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine Recipe
Here’s what you need to make 12 Mason jars (16oz) worth of Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine.
- (2) liters of Everclear (190 proof) or grain alcohol
- (1) pint of Captain Morgan 100 proof spiced rum (optional)
- (1) gallon of apple cider (I prefer the kind with lots of pulp)
- (1) gallon of apple juice
- (1.5) cups of sugar
- (1.5) cups of brown sugar
- (12) cinnamon sticks
- (12) 16 oz Mason jars
Take the apple juice and apple cider and mix it into a big pot. Place the pot on the stove and bring it to a boil. Once boiling, stir in the white and brown sugars until they completely dissolve. Remove the pot from the heat and let it cool to room temperature. Once cooled, add in both bottles of Everclear grain alcohol. Captain Morgan is listed as optional, but I think it adds a nice little spice to the mix. Pour the mix into the jars and add 1-2 cinnamon sticks to each one.
You can drink this stuff right off the bat, and it is great heated up like hot cider. But the optimal waiting period, if you can wait this long, is two weeks to give the cinnamon time to seep in and add all its flavor.
Heed these words…this stuff is dangerous. It goes down super easy and will creep right up on you in a hurry and put you under the table. I’ve made a few batches for myself, but it’s also a great gift for the drinkers in your family around Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It’s been great drinking this stuff with my Whiskey Wedge, too. I highly recommend you pick one up. You can check out our Whiskey Wedge review if you have any doubts.