So today is New Year’s Eve. Or is it tonight? Either way, one thing that is absolutely certain is that millions of people are going to get shitfaced and be reading my best hangover cures post tomorrow. If you’re one of the few lucky people who get to have all your friends over for a New Year’s shin-dig, then another thing is certain. It happens at every party I go to every year. At about 11:55 the host, or the soberest person, runs around in a futile attempt to make sure everyone has a glass of champagne to drink at midnight.
The pain in the ass is that any time you fill a drunk person’s glass with anything that resembles alcohol, they promptly drink it. Drunks don’t respect the lone organizer. so the trick is to make the distributing of the champagne an event. You have to create a spectacle worthy of the drunk horde’s attention. You have to make them WANT to be a part of the toast. If you succeed, they will follow your rules. The best way to do this is to create a champagne fountain. Next to a KY wrestling match, this is the most beautiful thing a drunk has ever seen. Here’s a video on how to make the perfect champagne fountain. Oh, and my champagne of choice is Ballatore Gran Spumante. It tastes great and costs about $6 at any grocery store.