Before 9/11 you walk right into a movie theater wearing bulky cargo pants and an army jacket packed to the zippers with booze. Back in the late 90’s my buddies and I could literally smuggle a 12 pack of Natty Light or a whole bottle of Jack Daniels each into any movie or sporting event in Gainesville.
But as they often do, times have changed. Rent-a-cops are taught from day one to watch for terrorists threats which include young disheveled men trying to get into crowded places wearing bulky jackets and cargo pants in the middle of July. Plus, in addition to the whole “looking like a terrorist” thing, cargo pants aren’t very fashionable anymore. Nope, these days low-rise jeans and fitted shirts just don’t allow for entire liquor cabinets to be smuggled into an event. (That is of course unless the hipsters make it fashionable for guys to carry purses.)
The alternative to trying to parlay an entire liter of vodka into a club, which I outlined in “See A Movie And Get Drunk For Less Than $10,” is to go to the ABC Liquor, buy a pint of Jim Beam and hope the guy at the Ben Hill Griffin Stadium gate doesn’t notice the bulge in your pants.
But as I’ve said before, the economy sucks and it’s my job to make sure you don’t piss away you’re hard-earned drinking money. Don’t buy a $9 pint of Bacardi when you can get a whole gallon for $11 more dollars. Buy in bulk and divide that shit up like a 20lb family pack of hamburger meat from Sam’s Club.
“How do I economically divide up a bottle of liquor” you ask? Easy. Get a flask.
Now I’m not talking about going to Things Remembered in the mall and dropping $50 on a flask with your name on it. Nor am I talking about risking having your grandfather’s antique flask confiscated at the stadium because you were drunk and belligerent. Get a disposable flask.
One day Alexander Kristoff was walking through a parking lot at a football game and noticed a couple of old guys filling Ziploc bags with liquor so they could sneak them in without the risk of really actually losing anything of value if they got caught. “There’s got to be a better way,” young Alexander said to himself.
A few years and a few prototypes later, Alex filed for a patent for The Disposable Flask.
The Disposable Flask is 4 x 6 inches, holds 7.5 ounces of liquid, can be used for hot or cold liquids, comes in several different colors including pink, white, black, camo, leopard skin and several sports team colors and get this, has a screw-on/off cap so it can actually be used several times before you have to throw it away.
One really cool feature is that you can order customized flasks. If you own a business or are having an event, you can get the flasks in a specific color with just about anything printed on them. I think what I like about it most is that because it’s similar to a plastic baggie, it conforms to your pocket so you don’t have this big square bulge sticking out.
I’ve been fortunate to have a few of these to experiment with. Here’s what I did with them over the weekend:
1. I successfully got drunk watching the Transformers flick last Friday night via 2 Disposable Flasks filled with some Buffalo Trace Bourbon (more on that in another post).
2. I watched fireworks in a city park with a nice rum and coke thanks to The Disposable Flask.
3. I drank at the springs on Sunday without worrying about anyone giving me crap for having a glass bottle of Bacardi near the water.
4. Gave a coworker some Eagle Rare Bourbon (more on this later) without having to give them any container of sentimental value.
You can head over to The Disposable Flask website and order 6 flasks and 2 funnels for $9.95 plus S&H. I personally plan on stockpiling these for football season.