1. You tilt your glass even when you’re not pouring a beer.
2. You can name all the different types of Sam Adams brews but you can’t name all of your kids or their birthdays.
3. You’ve ever had more than one pet named after your favorite beer or liquor.
4. You have a perfectly round beer belly. And you’re a girl.
5. If you’ve ever shown up to a 10:30am Visual Communications class drunk. Every day.
6. You make Black and Tans with Steel Reserve and Natty Light.
7. You start tailgating for an 8pm football game at 8am, but pass out at 7:45pm.
8. You and your buddy Jeff were kicked out of a Lynard Skynard concert for being too drunk.
9. You carried in a case of Busch Light to the Daytona 500 and still ran out of beer.
10. One time you woke up on a couch in a strange apartment where everything on the fridge was written in Spanish.
11. On more than one occasion you’ve gotten in your car the next morning to find half a pitcher of beer seat belted in the passenger’s seat. (This happened on the same morning as number 10)
12. You decide which party to go to based on the number of kegs at each one rather than the number of girls/guys at each one.
13. If you’ve ever woken up in the middle of the night after drinking and peed in your closet.
14. You’ve learned to like hot beer so no one will ask you for any of your beer at a party or anywhere else for that matter.
15. You’ve taken a piss on the hood of a police cruiser during your D.U.I. arrest.
16. All of your friends have at least one picture of them holding up peace signs next to you puking.
17. You’ve ever Googled for whats the best way to get permanent marker off your face.
18. You and your buddy spent $1,000 on Jim Beam in one semester so you could get the free gift for using your ABC JAX Liquor card only to find out it was a $10 gift card.
19. After your first semester of college you have the ability to drink 10 quarts of malt liquor in one night and decide to prove it to your buddies during your first spring break trip to Panama City only to spend the entire next day in the hotel room.
20. You know ALL the words to the Hank Williams Jr. song, “Family Tradition.”
21. You started a website called The Drunk Pirate.