The Drunk Pirate

So I did a lot of writing, editing and made several grandiose claims thanks largely in part to Four Loko Orange Blend. If tonight were a Sesame Street episode it would be brought to you by the letter drunk.

I’ve tasted the watermelon-flavored Four Loko and it tasted almost completely, but not entirely unlike pink battery acid. The Four Loko orange blend however, tastes a little more like a reputable street whore worth spending your money on.

It’s a little lighter with not so much of the bite as its pink whore of a sister counterpart. It actually tastes a lot like Sunkist with some vodka or 151 mixed in it. Which is great if you’re into that kind of internal S&M liver-destroying thing.
(more…)

Popularity: 5% [?]

Some of the greatest food and beverage discoveries were born out of either necessity or just good old fashioned curiosity. I mean seriously, who was the first guy to eat an oyster? Was it out of necessity to avoid starvation that he decided to eat the giant snot-like creature he found living in a rock he found growing in the mud of a coastal saltwater marsh, or was it a decision born of blatant human curiosity to see if he could eat the same stuff the otters were eating?
(more…)

Popularity: 13% [?]

Now I’ve never really been a fan of mint in general because with most mint-flavored affairs the only thing you taste is the mint. I don’t even like those little mints they leave on your pillows at hotels. My utter disdain for mint made me extremely skeptical of Firefly Vodka’s mint-flavored sweet tea vodka.
(more…)

Popularity: 18% [?]

Like a moth to the flame burned by the fire, I was drawn to the pink and red camouflaged can of Four Loko. That or I had just finished listening to Janet Jackson. Either way, I wanted to get my drink on and 12% alcohol by volume with caffeine in a 24 oz can looked like  a porn star on Rufies hiding behind a glass door at the Kangaroo gas station. (They’re website kicks ass btw)

I had heard of Four Loko from my northern-southern counterparts for some time and have been anticipating its arrival. Hell, I’ve even been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal’s alcohol division on the subject of malt liquors with caffeine in them. As a matter of fact, some of our readers were interviewed for the same article and are now famous. Seriously, they all got drunk on a Joose and Four Loko concoction and stole the bikes of every Mormon missionary on Denver.
(more…)

Popularity: 26% [?]

I tried to come up with some kind of sub-theme for this gallery like “Hot Drunk Girls” or “Drunk in Public,” but after scouring the Internet for an entire 20 minutes all I could scrape up was this menagerie of 40 images of drunk people with no common theme.

I’m going to assume since none of these people look like they know each other that these 40 photos were taken on 40 different nights hence the name, 40 Nights of Drunk.

And yes I know there are some pictures taken in the daytime. Work with me here. Or at least send me in your drunk pictures to james@thedrunkpirate.com. I might send you some free stuff.
(more…)

Popularity: 14% [?]