Earthquake High Gravity Lager – The Liger Of Lagers

Steel Reserve – 67 percent of the time, it works every time. However, at 12% ABV, Earthquake High Gravity Lager will get you “tore out the frame” 100 percent of the time.

Earlier tonight I made my way to the BP station – not to buy gas mind you (Fuck BP) –  to buy my go-to 4 pack of Steel Reserve tall boys when I made a startling discovery. On the shelf below all the gaudy Four Loko cans, nestled right NEXT to the Steel Reserve was a line of silver and black cans with “Earthquake” emblazoned in red on them.

I didn’t pay them much mind at first. I actually picked up a flavor of Four Loko that I hadn’t tried yet and was studying it when I noticed out of my peripheral that the Earthquake can shared the same 12% ABV rating as the foul-tasting Four Loko I had in my hand.

Could it be? A lager with the kick of a malt liquor? It was like I had found an actual Liger, but instead of being bred for its skills in magic, this one had been bred for its skills in getting me totally shitfaced while NOT tasting like an orange Airborne tablet dissolved in kerosene.

Erring on the side of caution, I opted to only buy one 24oz can for a grand total of $1.59 – $1.70 with tax. A paper bag and a Lotto ticket later I was back in the car and on my way home with my new find.

Fast forward to now. As I write this post I’m only half way through the can via my trusty Dog-N-Suds mug and I’m buzzin’ like a chainsaw. The rate at which I got this point is identical to when I drink a comparable malt liquor like Four Loko or Joose.

I still can’t get over the taste. It’s actually kind of sweet and doesn’t take a gut lined with chain mail to get through the first few sips before the high alcohol content numbs the senses.

It’s nothing like Steel Reserve which can sometimes taste like you’re drinking an 80-year-old Mexican hooker’s bath water. It’s nice and smooth.

So in conclusion….I never thought I’d ever say this….I believe this will be my new “Get drunk on a budget” pick. Steel Reserve, if you’re listening, you better step up yout game and come up with a 13% ABV brew or something. You’re losing customers to the new innovators of the High Gravity Lager world.

Comments

  1. Ben says

    Nice to see a couple of posts on here within a month of each other. One of my favorite sites for drinking reviews.

  2. says

    You’ll be seeing a lot more. For the past year I’ve been writing for a magzine, so that took up a lot of my time. My new job doesn’t require so much writing and will allow me to focus more on writing for fun:)

  3. DooBie says

    As far as alcoholic beverages go, Earthquake is the least palatable thing I have ever tasted. It’s really gross. But it does give you a buzz, and it is cheap.
    But still, I have to say it’s by far the worst “Beer” type of drink I’ve come across.

  4. themexican says

    yo mexicana y yo offensia por el commento
    limpia la cocina rappido
    tequillllla
    fuck yo ALLL
    ARRIBA ARRIBA
    HASTA LA VISTA BABAY

  5. Greg says

    Nasty< drinking one right now 8:41am not really hair of the dog I was looking for, but I am holding it down. It's better than Stacks!

  6. Stu says

    This is a pretty nasty/sexy beer. The truth is, is that my balls have goosebumps. My toes have a tingly sensation after a 1/2 can within a 1/2 hour combined with a minnimal steady flow of Flammin Hot Limon Cheetos to counteract the nautia. I must have something to snack on while “enjoying” my sippage. What else can I say? I’ve had worse. I’ll grant you a one thumb up.

  7. David Wisler says

    I have been drinking Hurricane for some time. Where I live, it is $1.19 for a 24 ounce can. So I can get really drunk for under 4 dollars. The ONLY problem with it is, it tastes so damn horrible! It is the worst tasting stuff I have ever put in my mouth. I love the effect and it’s cheap but damn it’s hard to get down!

  8. Dino says

    I have to agree with Jimmy. I walked down to my local grocery to pick up a couple Fosters, but they were out, so I found the ‘quake.’ It was only $1.49, so I picked up two 24 oz cans. Went home, popped open a can, and put on Joe Cocker, full tilt in my headphones. Soon the tsunami hit. I am not a veteran cheap beer drinker (other than Fosters), so I had nothing to compare it with. But, let me just summarize: Four hours later I was down in the basement, whooping and hollering about how I didn’t know that Mitch McConnell was such a good slow dancer. The beer has a nasty sweetness to it, but it carries a hammer that will crush the consciousness out of a T-Rex. Best three buck rocket ride I have ever taken.

  9. SpringHawk says

    i love the ‘Quake !!!

    sometimes when life has kicked you in the “nuggets” and you just want the Universe to fade away for 24-48 hours, just get some Earthquake High Gravity Lager !!! Where i live it costs $1.75 for the 24 ouncer (tax included) !!!

    ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhh !!!!

  10. EarthQuake HeadAches says

    Ive been drinking about 2-3 of these per night for the last few months. i recently started getting a headache. not sure if this brew was designed with the intention of killing the poor class. i can afford more expensive beer but i always thought it was just marketing hype. i still believe its all marketing hype unless this was one was by design, designed to cause illness and death. I may go back to the steel reserve after i finish the 15+/- left in my fridge.

  11. says

    $1.63 after tax and I only need one on an empty stomach. I can do 1 1/2 but I dont think you should ever drink 2 full cans of earthquake. I always wake up on the sidewalk or in handcuffs with cops laughing at me. Maybe they should come in 12 oz cans so you can drink 3 cans. Earthquake is a great way to save money. Its alot like champagne but cheap. Tastes icky though. But better I think tan 211’s.

  12. says

    Yes, I too, I have been under the influence of the “Earthquake”. It is as close as I can get without going to a ABC store. In NC, they have stopped selling Earthquakes. As everyone has mentioned a cheap quick effect. I normally drink Colt 45. But who wants to drink 2 40’s to achieve the results 1/2 Earthquake can produce. Consumers drink beer for different reasons. Some for taste, some for body, some for origin, some just to self medicate. I self medicate. Put it back on the shelve. If you can do anything to enhance the taste…do so. But the effect is great. I have cleared out my whole house. lol.

  13. Vinny says

    ….I’ve gotten past tha taste of this beer and I’ve switch over from 211 to this beer…Its become one of my favs because of tha price and tha potency…It gets me to where I need to be at after a hard days work but tell me why they dropped tha potency to 8.1 percent…I live in Northern Va. and they are 2.00 bucks here…when I got it I thought it was a joke…I just need to kno’ if its like that anywhere else and if this is where they goin’ with it, I’m probobly gona switch back to 211…I’m drinkin’ my 2nd one (halfway thru) and I’m feelin’ good still but i still liked it at 12 percent…just lookout for me..

  14. Jeff Chandler says

    I drink one 24 oz Earthquake every day, immediately followed by a 24 oz Milwakee’s Best Black Ice. This combo totally leaves me trashed. Yeah, I have to agree that it tastes like SH*T!! The Eartquake beer that is. Drinking the Milwaukee’s best right afterwords is like a sigh of relief. I drink these beers in about 25 minute’s time, once time every day – usually right when I get off work. Here is a tip for those of you who find yourself in public and still want to drink – just get a styrofoam cup at the nearest gas station and put your beer or liqour in that, and then you can drink in public and no one will know! I do it every damn day! Yeah, Earthquake beer tastes horendous but it does the trick nicely.

  15. Ed says

    yeah this lager is the one to pick up if you got a few fat bitches to fuck…..it does the job and that’s getting you fucked up…if kicking with your boys watching the game get MGD…but if you feel like not remembering what you did last night….. pick up some earthquakes..

  16. PissedOff says

    I bought an earthquake today and it said 8.1% alcohol by volume and tastes like an unwashed taint. WTF? Did they really change the formula or did my local convenience store screw up or bitch out? <—Pissed and not that drunk. Fkn fake earthquakes. It's like a ground tremor now.

  17. says

    VERY perturbed the 12% is no longer available in Florida! It is the same price for 1/3 less alcohol content. I tasted the difference, saw the different color before reading the can, I returned the remaining 2 to the local obseqious Hindu kwik-e-mart keepers

  18. jon2thejon says

    I went to the store last week and picked up 3 earthquakes for under $5. I was sharing with a friend of mine, so 3 cans is perfect for anything 12%. After I’m done drinking a can I noticed I was not even close to being drunk. Just a tad a buzz. The can said 8.1% abv. Why they lowered the alcohol is beyond me. The only reason I buy those is because of the alcohol. Now I’m just going to drink 211 or some other 8% beer because earthquakes still taste just as shitty in 8.1% so there is no point in buying them anymore.

  19. Dude... says

    I gots ta say, was looking online because they changed my brew down to the stupid 8.1% and I was like “what the crap??”and really hoped it was a mis-print or just a stupid store, but no one sells the 12% anymore and it sucks! I would never drink this beer except for the high alcohol content and the cheap price… Yeah, just keep on judging you yuppie 1%ers, for the rest of us who bleed and sweat daily for a few bucks to buy a beer the 12%, 24oz, $1.65 brew was a God-send. Stupid earthquake is now no better than steel reserve, and choosing between piss and urine is a waste. Bring back the 12%!!!

  20. Mike James says

    12% Earthquake is no longer available where I live in Kern County.

    What happened? What the hell happened?

  21. Josh says

    I’ve been drinking quakes for years and only bought cuz’ was best drunk for cheap at local store. Normally drank 1(24oz) 12% just to sleep good and sometimes 2 if I wanted to get shitfaced for just 3 buks. Haven’t had a quake since new years(was a few 12%’s). Just got some today and didn’t notice the 8.1% which sucks cuz i’m on my second 24oz and just buzzin’. I guess even if it takes 2 of these now its cheaper then bar prices for a good ol’ blakout. I also think best way to down these is with ice for cold as fuk.

  22. Bigfella says

    If ya’ll want an improvement on the taste, and an extra kick, buy a Mio energy- Green Apple, take a swig off the top and squirt a good amount in there. Gives it a good flavor and that nice energy kick is a plus.

  23. Nate says

    With all due respect to the drunken pirate, it is absolutely unpalatable. It will get you drunk as shit, but good luck on the morrow. You’d be better off buying a pint of vodka.

  24. rudy says

    In my experience with this particular drink, Earthquake is quickly followed by a Tsunami…if you get my drift. *shudder*

  25. Scratch'n'Biff says

    I, too, spotted this brew by accident while perusing the local haunt for Steel 211. Suddenly, my 24oz Steel was rubbing shoulders with a bold new black, silver, and red can emblazoned “earthquake.” ABV is the first thing I check before trying a new hobo beer because, lets be honest, why drink crap for the taste? Whoa, 12%?! That’s like a Four Loko, but half the price! I bought four, drank two upon getting home, and got pretty damn trashed. It tastes awful, though; like bad malt liquor with added sweetness to hide the alcohol…very similar to some high gravity Camo 900 brews I’ve had. I recommend getting buzzed on something nicer before getting blotto on the ‘quake.

    I was buying it for a few months before they dropped ABV to 8.1%. At that point, there was no reason to buy ‘quake instead of the better-tasting 8.1% Steel, Hurricane, or even St. Ides. Hell, a $4 bottle of 17.5% bum wine was more appealing. My favorite store eventually quit carrying earthquake, probably for that reason. I think Phusion Projects watered it down because it was cutting into sales of Four Loko, which is more profitable.

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