The Drunk Pirate

Sonnema VodkaHerb

The past few years have seen explosive growth in the infused vodka category. Every manufacturer from Smirnoff to Stoli has gotten into the game by infusing their vodkas with all types of fruits and berries. But leave it to the Dutch to infuse vodka with “herbs.”

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Popularity: 3% [?]

Firefly Vodka Daily Palmer

Punxsutawney Phil is full of crap. That’s right, I said it. Groundhogs have no business predicting the weather. This little self righteous butt hole comes out of his little house, looks around and then tells everybody we’re going to have 6 more weeks of Winter. Granted, it was 17 degrees here in Florida on Groundhog Day, but it’s been in the 70′s and 80′s all week and the trees are blooming. Spring is well on it’s way here in Florida, and that means it’s time to break out the Firefly Vodka and spend some lazy afternoons on my back porch watching the sun go down.

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Popularity: 5% [?]

Saint Brendan’s Irish Cream Liqueur

So here I am, somewhere around the 2 a.m. hour, watching Youtube videos of the late, great Hunter S. Thompson, listening to Warren Zevon and finishing off my handle of Saint Brendan’s Irish Cream Liqueur. Sure it’s not as manly or cool as a trunk full of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers . . . and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. But hey, that’s okay. It’s getting me buzzed, and at the moment that’s good enough.

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Popularity: 2% [?]

Abita Turbodog

There’s absolutely no place like Florida in the dead of winter. I mean honestly, who doesn’t love mowing their lawn in late December? I spent all day Sunday working up a good sweat while trying out my new backpack leaf blower. Once I finished the migrant worker routine, I fired up the grill and cracked open an Abita Turbodog. Turbodog wasn’t quite what I had expected.

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Popularity: 1% [?]

How To Make Real Eggnog

Don’t get me wrong. Gustafson’s Farm makes fantastic eggnog—if you’re a pansy.

But if you’re in it to win it, making your own eggnog is the only way to go (this coming from a guy who has his mommy make it). Seriously, I’m tired of all the store bought “eggnog” making its way into family holiday pimp cups every holiday season. Come on people—we’re celebrating sweet baby Jesus’ birthday (unless you’re not). This is the one time of the year when you have to pretend to actually have traditions. Besides, you’ll have time off from work, some of you permanently thanks to the economy, and a need to get into the holiday spirit drunk pirate style.

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Popularity: 2% [?]