The Drunk Pirate

Poor Man’s Black And Tan II

Some of the greatest food and beverage discoveries were born out of either necessity or just good old fashioned curiosity. I mean seriously, who was the first guy to eat an oyster? Was it out of necessity to avoid starvation that he decided to eat the giant snot-like creature he found living in a rock he found growing in the mud of a coastal saltwater marsh, or was it a decision born of blatant human curiosity to see if he could eat the same stuff the otters were eating?
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Popularity: 3% [?]

        

Mint Flavored Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

Now I’ve never really been a fan of mint in general because with most mint-flavored affairs the only thing you taste is the mint. I don’t even like those little mints they leave on your pillows at hotels. My utter disdain for mint made me extremely skeptical of Firefly Vodka’s mint-flavored sweet tea vodka.
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Popularity: 2% [?]

        

Four Loko Fruit Punch: It will Make You Irresistable

Like a moth to the flame burned by the fire, I was drawn to the pink and red camouflaged can of Four Loko. That or I had just finished listening to Janet Jackson. Either way, I wanted to get my drink on and 12% alcohol by volume with caffeine in a 24 oz can looked like  a porn star on Rufies hiding behind a glass door at the Kangaroo gas station. (They’re website kicks ass btw)

I had heard of Four Loko from my northern-southern counterparts for some time and have been anticipating its arrival. Hell, I’ve even been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal’s alcohol division on the subject of malt liquors with caffeine in them. As a matter of fact, some of our readers were interviewed for the same article and are now famous. Seriously, they all got drunk on a Joose and Four Loko concoction and stole the bikes of every Mormon missionary on Denver.
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Popularity: 11% [?]

        

Eagle Rare Single Barrel Bourbon: I wish all 10-year-olds were this awesome.

As a rule I don’t normally drink bourbon until the official start of football season. Why? Well, bourbon is what I consider to be a “cold weather” spirit. You can’t really get into the mood for a really earthy and smooth drink like bourbon when the average low temperature is 78 degrees. Bourbon is for keeping you warm. It’s not for cooling you off  by the pool like a nice tumbler of Tanqueray Rangpur and pineapple does. However, every now and then it’s ok to deviate from the norm and drink bourbon out of season. Especially when it’s as good as Eagle Rare’s 10-year-old bourbon.

Like most great bourbons I’ve sampled, Eagle Rare comes in a very simple bottle with a cork. The smooth aroma when I first opened the bottle made me want to wear the stuff as cologne. Or drink it straight. Which I did.

Eagle Rare is the bourbon equivalent of Pyrat Rum or Zaya Gran Reserva Rum. Not too expensive, but willing to take the Pepsi challenge with any of the “ultra premium” brands on the market. Even after I emptied the bottle I looked like a glue-sniffing addict taking long, slow smells out of the bottle. Seriously, they should bottle this and market it as aftershave you could drink.

I also tried Eagle Rare with several different mixers with whom it did great with. Coke, Sprite, Diet Coke, etc. However, this is definitely a bourbon you could drink on the rocks, thus making you look like a total bourbon connoisseur to your friends or coworkers.

This is definitely one of my top bourbons now and am counting the days until football season gets here so I can tell these dog days of summer to go to hell and leave me and my bourbon be to watch football till we pass out.

A bottle of Eagle Rare 10-year-old will set you back about $29-$39 depending where you buy it. The company also has a 17-year-old version that I can’t wait to try.

Popularity: 8% [?]

        

Is Joose Targeting Girls With Max Vibe?

By now you all know that I’ll drink pretty much anything in the name of alcohol research. Joose, Jungle Joose, Steel Reserve and my personal I-was-too-drunk-to-give-a-crap-favorite, The Poor Man’s Black And Tan. I’ve sampled all of the aforementioned beverages because of my passion for finding and drinking beer and malt liquor with high-as-giraffe-balls alcohol content.

Up until now the champion in the high ABV race has been Jungle Joose with 9.9% ABV. I had heard of another beer called Four Loco, which is touted as supposedly having an alcohol content of 11%. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find it so it has remained unconfirmed. However, this past Saturday my cousin who works for Anheuser-Busch informed me they were going to start distributing my white whale in a few weeks right here in North Florida. I was giddy.
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Popularity: 25% [?]