The Drunk Pirate

Drinking Gear: The Disposable Flask

Before 9/11 you walk right into a movie theater wearing bulky cargo pants and an army jacket packed to the zippers with booze. Back in the late 90’s my buddies and I could literally smuggle a 12 pack of Natty Light or a whole bottle of Jack Daniels each into any movie or sporting event in Gainesville.

But as they often do, times have changed. Rent-a-cops are taught from day one to watch for terrorists threats which include young disheveled men trying to get into crowded places wearing bulky jackets and cargo pants in the middle of July. Plus, in addition to the whole “looking like a terrorist” thing, cargo pants aren’t very fashionable anymore. Nope, these days low-rise jeans and fitted shirts just don’t allow for entire liquor cabinets to be smuggled into an event. (That is of course unless the hipsters make it fashionable for guys to carry purses.)

The alternative to trying to parlay an entire liter of vodka into a club, which I outlined in “See A Movie And Get Drunk For Less Than $10,” is to go to the ABC Liquor, buy a pint of Jim Beam and hope the guy at the Ben Hill Griffin Stadium gate doesn’t notice the bulge in your pants.
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