The Drunk Pirate

Hangovers are proof that God has a sense of humor. A very sick and twisted sense of humor. Hopefully on my judgment day when St. Peter or whoever is showing me all the bad things I’ve done, he’ll give me credit for all the epic hangovers I’ve endured.

When I was younger I used to view hangovers as punishment, hence the reason that I used to make bargains with the Almighty that if he would just make me feel better I would never drink again. If I had a dollar for every time I tried that route I could probably put a stripper through at least one semester of college.

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The other day I was at work and overheard a conversation I’ve heard at least a hundred times in a hundred different places. The subject is one of the oldest and most misunderstood drinking rules ever. It’s mostly misunderstood because people always screw up the saying itself, which in turn sends them directly up Shit Creek without a paddle.

You’ve all head it, or variations of it, before: “Beer then liquor, never been sicker. Liquor then beer, have no fear.” This boys and girls is the correct variation of the saying.

The problem with this handy little dandy is that it doesn’t give an explanation as to why or why not one would or would not get sick for not adhering to the rule. But here’s the rub, the very people to whom this saying was meant to protect are the very ones who question it. And we all know who those people are. The college-aged Green Horns. [Editor's note: Green Horns? Nice one grandpa.]

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