The Drunk Pirate

Four Loko Orange Blend

So I did a lot of writing, editing and made several grandiose claims thanks largely in part to Four Loko Orange Blend. If tonight were a Sesame Street episode it would be brought to you by the letter drunk.

I’ve tasted the watermelon-flavored Four Loko and it tasted almost completely, but not entirely unlike pink battery acid. The Four Loko orange blend however, tastes a little more like a reputable street whore worth spending your money on.

It’s a little lighter with not so much of the bite as its pink whore of a sister counterpart. It actually tastes a lot like Sunkist with some vodka or 151 mixed in it. Which is great if you’re into that kind of internal S&M liver-destroying thing.
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Popularity: 9% [?]

Poor Man’s Black And Tan II

Some of the greatest food and beverage discoveries were born out of either necessity or just good old fashioned curiosity. I mean seriously, who was the first guy to eat an oyster? Was it out of necessity to avoid starvation that he decided to eat the giant snot-like creature he found living in a rock he found growing in the mud of a coastal saltwater marsh, or was it a decision born of blatant human curiosity to see if he could eat the same stuff the otters were eating?
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Popularity: 12% [?]

40 Nights Of Drunk Gallery

I tried to come up with some kind of sub-theme for this gallery like “Hot Drunk Girls” or “Drunk in Public,” but after scouring the Internet for an entire 20 minutes all I could scrape up was this menagerie of 40 images of drunk people with no common theme.

I’m going to assume since none of these people look like they know each other that these 40 photos were taken on 40 different nights hence the name, 40 Nights of Drunk.

And yes I know there are some pictures taken in the daytime. Work with me here. Or at least send me in your drunk pictures to james@thedrunkpirate.com. I might send you some free stuff.
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Popularity: 17% [?]

Raspberry Flavored Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

One of the reasons there’s been a lack of posts for the past few months – other than the site redesign – is because I’ve been doing research. A lot of it. One thing that’s kept me busier, and drunker for that matter, than a New Orleans judge during Mardi Gras is the new line of Firefly Vodka flavors that were recently introduced.

I’m pretty sure that this is a first for the alcohol industry. An infused, infused vodka. I don’t even know the proper way to write that. Is it infused-infused vodka?

although I usually leave the flavored vodkas to the sorority girls, my instincts told me I needed to try the new Firefly flavors in the name of The South, journalism and science.
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Popularity: 22% [?]

Dear Readers: We’re Sorry

Ok. First let me say I’m sorry. I realize I’ve been as useless as tits on a boar hog when it comes to being a contributing member of the drinking society. I realize I haven’t written a single post since March. I’ve been busy. And so has Nate.

We’ve both had some other projects we’ve been working on but can now redirect our efforts back to The Drunk Pirate. Our readership has dwindled down from more than 100,000 to about 25,000 per month. Thank you to those who have stuck around. Your diligence will be rewarded.

We’ve got some good stuff lined up for you guys. We’ve been drinking our asses off and have actually been brewing our own beer. We’ve also had the pleasure of being given first tastes of several soon-to-be-released liquors.

You should also be on the lookout for a complete redesign of the site along with some freebie stuff in the newsletter (for those of you who signed up for the newsletter). We’re also going to delve into some other things like user submitted party pictures and videos. We’ve also got some great “how-to’s” coming up like “how to make your own moonshine.”

So keep us bookmarked, RSSed (is that a word?) and check back on a regular basis because TDP is about to become one bad mother f*#ker.

p.s. I’m sorry to all the beer aficianados about the summer beers post. I did it to piss off all the haters from the Rogue Dead Guy ale post.

Popularity: 4% [?]