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10 Reasons Why Beer Pong Is Not Called Beirut

Tue, Mar 10, 2009

Buried Treasure

neon beer pong lightA while back we posted an article on the official rules of Beer Pong. Overall the response was good. However, we kept getting comments and emails from individuals who claimed the proper name for Beer Pong was Beirut. Here is one such comment:

“I really wish the legit drinking websites would stop calling it “Beer Pong”. It’s Beirut, dammit. For those of us that play Beer Pong, to mix up the games is blasphemy. Check this out to get more information. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dartmouth_pong” (At least he called us legit)

I rank these people right up there with the hippies that tell me cutting down trees is murder and that I shouldn’t eat meat because animals have rights too. They can all go straight to H E double hockey sticks. I’m an American and I will play Beer Pong on my table made of wood while eating a raw steak. But I digress. This post is about why Beer Pong is not called Beirut. Here is an exhaustive and thoroughly researched list of these reasons.

1. Beirut is a city full of terrorists in Lebanon. There is no such place called Beer Pongadelphia. There is only the game, Beer Pong.

2. If you Google Beirut, the only thing that shows up for several pages are entries about the aforementioned terrorist breeding ground and the Myspace page for a band called “The Beirut Band.” You actually have to search Beer Pong + Beirut to get results of other ass hats calling Beer Pong Beirut.

3. No girl would ever brag to her friends about a one night stand with the dorm Beirut Champion. That’s like saying you had sex with the president of the Glee Club.

chuck norris4. Every time someone calls Beer Pong Beirut, Chuck Norris kills a Lebanese baby. In Beirut.

5. If this were an SAT question it would be: Beirut is to Stephen Hawkings as Beer Pong is to Tony Hawk.

6. People who call it Beirut are just trying to be as cool as the college kids who say “Le Mis,” or “Poly Sci.”

7. Beer companies don’t sponsor “Beirut” tournaments.

8. If you call Beer Pong Beirut, you’re probably a Freshman.

9. The even call it Beer Pong IN Beirut.

10. Calling Beer Pong Beirut is like calling a guy “pretty.

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This post was written by:

Jimmy - who has written 86 posts on The Drunk Pirate.


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4 Comments For This Post

  1. Luka Kramishtlavi Says:

    Honestly, I find this article disturbing and racist. I have been to Beirut and their nightlife and culture is a million times better and richer than that of the US. NY times said it was the number one place to go in the summer of 2009, and it has been rated as one of the best party cities in a variety of sources. I am a Russian-Jew living in New York, so no bias at all.

    And I know the game to be called Beirut, not beer pong.

  2. Anthony Gregory Says:

    your an ignorant idiot. ping pong is used with paddles. no why? because the word pong is the only word associated with the use of paddles. remember the video game pong? yep hitting a ball with paddles. therefore, beer pong is a game used with cups, beer and paddles. and it came long before that of throwing ping pong balls into cups. you lose. and damn it feels great.

  3. Jimmy Says:

    Attention all commenting readers: First and foremost let me say the compound of “you are” is “you’re” while “your” denotes something belonging to another person of whom you are referring to. Second, please use proper punctuation and capitalization when commenting. Last, but certainly not least, if you insist on beginning your comment by calling me an arrogant idiot, please see the two aforementioned items.

    That is all.

    Love Jimmy

  4. Ken Says:

    It IS Beirut!!!!

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