Shit-faced drunk for less than $3. That’s probably the easiest way to sum up the genius that is Steel Reserve. I can imagine the birth of this wonderful high-gravity lager right now.
“Hey boss?…What is it Johnson? Boss I have a great idea for a new beer…..Ok Johnson, I’m listening. Let’s make a lager and let it ferment for 28 days until it has an alcohol content so high that only the most seasoned drinkers can handle it.” The boss ponders this, slams his fist on the desk and bellows, “Goddammit Johnson! That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day! I’m making you Vice President of Cool.
I’m just guessing that’s how it went down. I have no clue how the beer got it’s name. What I do know is that drinking a beer with an alcohol content of 8.1% is not for amateurs. As seasoned as I am, I can still only imbibe 4-5 16oz cans of this stuff in one night without feeling like I just went through a session of chemotherapy the next morning.
The aroma, as well as the taste, is very strong and pungent. They both definitely take some getting used to. A good way to get around the strong taste is to drink it extremely cold in an extremely cold mug. If you can do this, you’ll be on the receiving end of one of the fastest and cheapest drunks money can buy. However, much like its cousin, napalm, you have to be very careful when drinking Steel Reserve. It comes with a set of rules. Just like a Mogwai. Don’t buy any more than you know you can handle, don’t drink all that you buy and buy an equal amount of Gatorade to drink before you go to bed. The normal thing for hard core Steel Reserve drinkers to do when they get drunk is to drink until they pass out. Steel Reserve will fuck up your entire weekend if you try to pull that crap on some random Friday night. Drink an entire 12 pack of this stuff and you’ll wake up on the liver transplant waiting list.
Steel Reserve is definitely a double edged sword. Plan ahead and be careful and it will serve you well. Abuse it, and it will chop your head off and flush it down a toilet.
You can find Steel Reserve at any store. $1.35 will get you a 24 oz can, or you can pony up $2.69 for a four pack of 16oz tall boys. Stay away from the 12 packs. Trust me. The temptation to drink the whole thing is to great for a person in the depths of a Steel Reserve binge to resist. Oh, and 222 calories per 12 oz serving is probably another good reason to limit your intake.
Popularity: 9% [?]
October 24th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Wow, you guys should come to england if you think 8.1% is a strong beer… or even go to germany; their strong lager would be classed as a spirit in most civilised countries!
October 24th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I’m definitely down for a trip to England or Germany—I’m getting tired of these girly beers anyway :)
October 24th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Please, this is hardly strong beer. More like a little above average. One of the strongest beers we have here that is sold all over is “Grolsch Kanon”, which is sold in half-liter canisters and has an alcohol content of no less than 11.6% and has been on shelves since 1996 http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grolsch and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grolsch). Besides that I know of local and specialty beers with higher content.
Nice article, but read into beer before you go off about how epically strong it is when it can’t even compete with mass-brewed supermarket beer ;)
October 24th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
England? Germany? No, No, No, fools. Go to belgium. Beer so strong it’ll make you wanna slap yo mama. Or if you want to stay in the U.S.A. try a Dogfish Head World Wide Stout. 25% and only comes in 22oz. bottles.
October 24th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
lol, yeah this really is nothing. Carlsberg’s “Årgangsøl” (vintage beer) at 10.6 % can be bought at any crocery store or kiosk in Denmark.
Americans should really stick to importing, you know :)
http://www.carlsberggroup.com/brands/Pages/WiibroeAArgangsoel.aspx
October 24th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
They limit it to 6% in Tennessee. As a seasoned college beer drinker, I have no problem downing it. It’s actually really great tasting compared to some ice brewed beers.
October 24th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
its not about percentage. its about percentage versus price.
October 24th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
@henry Exactly.
October 24th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Henry/Nathan: Tomorrow when buying my groceries I will check the price for “Kanon” so we can compare a bit more. This does seem like a cheap beer, but I guess we will have to find out. When I am there I will also see if I can find a better deal (Alchohol to dollar wise) :)
October 24th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
both Nathan and onelegout are obviously missing the whole point of steel reserve.
the beers you are both talking about are expensive and very good quality.
steel reserve is about gettin a quick and intensely dirty kind of fucked up that you cant experience with that expensive shit. you’ll just have to try it to find out
October 24th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
@Kaaswagen I would definitely like to find something other than Steel Reserve lol. The stuff is awful—but gets the job done on a budget. Definitely keep us posted on Kanon. We’ll review it in a future post.
@peter I think you missed my second comment, as I agree with you! This post was written about Steel Reserve—a quick, cheap way to get drunk fast. I just want everyone to know we are always open to hear of alternatives. Thanks everyone for the comments! I’m sure James would be responding if he wasn’t getting drunk right now lol.
October 24th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I know the beating 211 deals all too well. A little bit way too well… I’m recovering from it as we speak in fact. I had to run to the bathroom to ralph in the middle of typing this comment even. I usually drink 2 40oz of this stuff every night and you’re totally right. Cheapest drunk you can get short of pruno. The 40s are $2.89 each here in Alaska. Actually that’s not QUITE accurate, as if you hit the right L store, you can find Schlitz Bull Ice, which is 8.2% and $2.69 per 40, thereby getting you drunk for $5.38. That’s what I get if I can get someone to buy it for me, because I lost my ID so they won’t sell to me at the store they got it at. I usually have to go to the mom & pop liquor store down the street a ways and get 2 40s of 211 for 6 bucks even, because they know me there and don’t ID me.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Sorry I’m late girls:) Just got back from watching SexDrive at the movies. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the movies and I must say having a wife with a big ass purse is a definite plus. She can fit a whole bottle of Black Velvet Canadian Whiskey in that damn thing. Made the movie much more enjoyable. Now excuse me, I have 64 ounces of green Gatorade to drink.
October 25th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Oh, VIVA LA STEEL RESERVE!
October 25th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Ladies and gentlecocks, i have a mind-blower for you. Ever have that day where you can not convince yourself that showing up to work is actually in the cards for you? Perhaps a beer or two the local bar would be a much better alternative yeah? But what about the job? You can’t just quit…..how would you buy more beer? So fuck it right? Suck it up, stop by the store, grab an energy drink and get on with………. …… wait, … WAIT, … what is this…this drink here next to the beer? JOOSE?! Huh? An energy drink……with 9% alcohol content? My — God. It truly is a gift from heaven.
October 25th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Professor,
You just described the exact reaction I had a week ago on a trip to the local Jiffy store and discovered Joose! A review has already been written and will be posted Monday.
October 25th, 2008 at 8:37 am
I am an actual brewer, I happen to be stumbling, and not because I am drunk. I have to say you are so completely wrong, length of fermentation does not make the beer stronger, it is the amount of sugars dissolved in the solution and the yeast ability to convert that sugar to alcohol. That Beer is cheap because it is not made of much barley but mostly corn syrup. It is not only an insult to beer, but probably one of the worst beers I have ever tasted. The other are right also in saying that there are much stronger beers out there, and they actually taste great. I am a Pirate, and my brother I am sure you a great Pirate but please raise your standards, you’re making us look like trashy pirates! Arrgh!
October 25th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Kraig,
Sorry about the fermentation/alcohol oversight. Keep in mind I’m usually drinking when I write this stuff. I’ll be sure to pistol whip my editor for missing it. On another note I’m glad to see an actual expert has found our site. I consider myself an expert drinker, not a brewer so be sure to call me out on future errors so that I can learn form my mistakes.
On yet another note I think a few of you have missed the point of this post. It’s not about Steel Reserve being the strongest beer in the world or anything like that. It’s about getting really drunk for really cheap. And that’s it. I now however intend to do a post on the worlds strongest brews. I’ll probably start with the ones mentioned in these comments.
October 25th, 2008 at 10:36 am
I’ve checked my local supermarket where they sell Kanon beer for 3.39 (Or 4.27 dollar) for a six pack, they no longer carry the half-liters I was talking about earlier. A six-pack here is in glass bottles and 198 cl = 66.95 US fluid ounces, so compared to steel reserve you pay 1.58 dollars more, but in return one gets 3.5% alcohol and a good tasting beer extra.
When I read what Kraig said, I think it is safe to say that the best option would be starting with a nice hit of Kanon (Which I forgot to mention translates to cannon, which I think says something about the strength of stuff…) and then continue with steel reserve to end in vodka.
It’s a shame I couldn’t find the half-liter cans anymore, I’m sure they were a better deal alcohol amount per euro wise, maybe when I am down at the liquor store for my whiskey or at a big supermarket I will check to see if they sell them there.
October 30th, 2008 at 10:28 am
There’s always gonna be those folks that tout something bigger or better, but understand that those of us drinking steel reserve are in a different tax bracket than those that get those fancy beers from across the pond; so, a cheap beer with a good punch is nice. Very nice. Too bad it tastes like cheap malt liquor, though.
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:24 am
Take a sample of Lagunitas Brown Sugga @ 10% alc. Not cheap and as the name says it’s sweet. Be careful with this one.
February 21st, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I’ve done the steel reserve drunk twice. Did not learn my lesson the first time and I am a seasoned veteran. The hangover the next day just plain aint worth it man,and no amount of gatorade or anything else will help you.That crap is VILE.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh ::pukes::
will get you wasted though for the strong willed
May 31st, 2009 at 3:01 pm
You boys have definitely put your finger on the goal of college drinking. Shit-faced for cheap, and you also realize the easiest way to do this is to drink the cheapest stuff you can find and drink without reducing your stomach lining to shreds. My Yankee boyfriend can down a bottle of good alcohol by himself any day of the week, but I drink him under the table every time because of the simple fact I’m used to drinking cheap alcohol. By the way, I’ve never found a review for Calico Jack’s rum. We buy it in Georgia for $7 for a 750ml, and its not bad if I do say so myself.
November 20th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
If you got my e-mail yesterday, could you please post in this review section? Thanks!
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 am
Well—on a Reserved note—I will try this entry again. Been drinking Steel Reserve 211 for quite a while now. The cost is great, ($2.19), for 4-16 oz. tall boys. Get 2- 4 pks, sometimes 3 and a half dozen of the little airline bottles of vodka, set the bag on the floor beside my chair and I am set for the evening. I can relax, have a cheeseburger for dinner and still get to work the next day, doing something. I enjoy the taste best at cool-to-room temp and yes, the pungency is there. That is why I drink malt liquor. Drink up!
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
First off fuck people overseas and their bullshit beers. Here in the mighty USA I drink for the effect not taste. Steel Reserve is the best beer for price and effect, I love that shit.
Great article to the OP
peace
February 12th, 2010 at 11:38 am
Steel reserve gets it name from the 211 symbol which was the symbol for Steel in the medeval times. Steel reserve is not about the percentage, it is about the message it sends to your body. It is pumped with steel and probably some sort of PCP. Steel will heighten any feeling that is in your body, if you are very good that day, it will make you into a celebrity in your mind when talking to women and the best thing is, it is a garenteed Black Out. Continue drinking up some steel.
February 26th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Haha, I looked at the links provided for the supposedly “hard core” European brews….. naturally, the 11.6% someone quoted is actually the strongest brew that company makes. They also make a laughable 3.6% pilsner and their average abv% of all their brews seems to be the same as any brewery.
I was expecting to be impressed. Guess there’s no need to plan that trip after all.
As for Europeans and their high-brow talk, let’s not forget about the wine tasting in France in the 70′s where US wines were rated higher than French wines by French judges in a ‘blind’ taste test.
It’s absolutely foolish to prejudge an entire population and assume they’ll never figure something out (like beer), when all I hear on the internet these days is how much better most European nations are than the US because the US is so stupid and racist. Apparently only countries you dislike are capable of being discriminatory, and when you do it, it’s all in good fun.
I want to travel but I’m starting to notice that every country has it’s version of “stupid rednecks”.
Auf wiedersehen.
March 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 pm
This is the funniest article I have ever read!! Kudos to the author and he is dead on with his assesments. As a seasoned Steel Reserve Drinker..like 10 years since it came out west, I dare not drink a 12 pack of this stuff in a night as it will rock your world..8.1′s are way stronger then you would think.. You definitely need a gallon of water to get back to normal. And to all those european people..can you buy that so called strong beer in the stores in a 24ounce can for 99cents? Or is that stuff only sold in pubs? Long Live Steel Reserve, It is the poor mans cognac!!
April 15th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Steel reserve will put even the heaviest drinker down. I should know as it is my cheap drink of choice. I recomend the 4 pack for less than 4 dollars. Scoff as some of you will, but try it, if you are not worthy then you will soon find that you are lying on the bathroom floor crying for your mommy. I am convinced that there is actually more alcohol in steel reserve than 8.1 percent, or at least it hits you harder than 8.1 percent should. Anyone ever hear of EVIL EYE it is 10+ percent, but it doesnt seem to swing the wrecking ball as hard as the steel reserve. DRINKERS BE WARE!!
June 16th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
If you’re really looking for high alcohol for a low price, check out Earthquake. It’s a 12% abv beer that sells in 12 oz cans for $1.19 (and tastes unbearable, of course).
June 16th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
This must be fate. I literally just logged in to write my review of the Earthquake I have sitting next to me and saw this comment waiting to be approved. And yes, It’s like Steel Reserve on Steroids.